How to make a pizza
By Imagene
Proofread by Lela S.
Hi this is Imagene! Today I am going to teach you all how to make a pizza. This is a really quick and easy recipe that you should all be able to follow at home.
Find a recipe.
Download the recipe.
WAIT you need to pay to download
WHAT PAYMENT METHOD DO I USE
Choose what payment method to use
Go to the downloaded recipe
Print it
Which printer?
The one that you normally use
Ok but I don’t know what it’s called
Go figure out what it’s called
Ok
Choose that printer
Wait it’s out of paper
Go fix the paper
Where’s the paper
Should be right next to it
There it is now where do I put the paper
In the paper tray
Printed! What do I do now?
Look at the recipe
It’s all blurry
Get your glasses
Which pair
The reading glasses
Ok but which ones are the reading glasses
The peachy ones
Ok I got them now it’s not blurry
Are there any ingredients on the ingredients list that you don’t have?
All of them
Go to the grocery store
Should I use a car, bike, walking, helicopter, airplane, train, hyperloop, rocket ship, galaxy-class starship (enterprise)...?
Walk there
But it takes 45 minutes and I don’t have time
Ok then bike
I have a flat tire and I don’t know how to inflate it and it’s raining
*sigh* just take the car
Ok but I don’t have a driver's license
Ask someone who does to take you there
Ok I did and my mom’s taking me to the grocery store
A few months later...
I CAN’T FIND THE INGREDIENTS AND WHICH TYPE OF CHEESE DO I GET
Look harder for the ingredients or ask somebody, get mozzarella cheese.
There’s nobody to ask and I looked harder
Well, you are there with your mom, right?
Yeah I am
Can you ask her?
I guess so sure
Ok I found the ingredients.
Go to the checkout aisle
Ok I’m there
Buy the food
But there’s people in front of us in line
Ok wait for them to pay
Now I’m at the front of the line
Ok, now pay for the groceries.
I don’t have money on me
Ask your mom to pay for the food
Ok I asked her she is paying now we are checked out
Load the grocery bags into the car
They are heavy
Ask your mom
Ok I asked her she is loading them in
Get in the car and ask your mom to drive you home
Ok I am home now what do I do now?
Unload the ingredients
Done
Now follow the recipe
But the recipe is not going anywhere, how am I supposed to follow it?
Look at the first step and do what it says
But I’m not sure what these words mean
Go get a dictionary
I can’t find the dictionary
Look harder
I think we gave it away
Seriously? Well just do as much as you can
Ok
A few hours later...
I tried following the recipe. It did not work. Now our kitchen is covered in flour, bits of egg, and tomato sauce.
*sssiiiiiggghhh* JUST ORDER A MUFFIN PIZZA
Epilogue
WHAT IS A MUFFIN PIZZA WHERE DO I GET IT FROM HOW DO I PAY FOR IT WHAT ARE THE INGREDIENTS IS THERE ANYTHING I AM ALLERGIC TO I DO NOT SEE MUFFIN PIZZAS ON THE MENU WHAT DO I DO
ARRRRGGGGHHHH