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How to make a pizza

How to make a pizza

By Imagene

Proofread by Lela S.



Hi this is Imagene! Today I am going to teach you all how to make a pizza. This is a really quick and easy recipe that you should all be able to follow at home.

  1. Find a recipe.

  2. Download the recipe.

  3. WAIT you need to pay to download

  4. WHAT PAYMENT METHOD DO I USE

  5. Choose what payment method to use

  6. Go to the downloaded recipe

  7. Print it

  8. Which printer?

  9. The one that you normally use

  10. Ok but I don’t know what it’s called

  11. Go figure out what it’s called

  12. Ok

  13. Choose that printer

  14. Wait it’s out of paper

  15. Go fix the paper

  16. Where’s the paper

  17. Should be right next to it

  18. There it is now where do I put the paper

  19. In the paper tray

  20. Printed! What do I do now?

  21. Look at the recipe

  22. It’s all blurry

  23. Get your glasses

  24. Which pair

  25. The reading glasses

  26. Ok but which ones are the reading glasses

  27. The peachy ones

  28. Ok I got them now it’s not blurry

  29. Are there any ingredients on the ingredients list that you don’t have?

  30. All of them

  31. Go to the grocery store

  32. Should I use a car, bike, walking, helicopter, airplane, train, hyperloop, rocket ship, galaxy-class starship (enterprise)...?

  33. Walk there

  34. But it takes 45 minutes and I don’t have time

  35. Ok then bike

  36. I have a flat tire and I don’t know how to inflate it and it’s raining

  37. *sigh* just take the car

  38. Ok but I don’t have a driver's license

  39. Ask someone who does to take you there

  40. Ok I did and my mom’s taking me to the grocery store

A few months later...

  1. I CAN’T FIND THE INGREDIENTS AND WHICH TYPE OF CHEESE DO I GET

  2. Look harder for the ingredients or ask somebody, get mozzarella cheese.

  3. There’s nobody to ask and I looked harder

  4. Well, you are there with your mom, right?

  5. Yeah I am

  6. Can you ask her?

  7. I guess so sure

  8. Ok I found the ingredients.

  9. Go to the checkout aisle

  10. Ok I’m there

  11. Buy the food

  12. But there’s people in front of us in line

  13. Ok wait for them to pay

  14. Now I’m at the front of the line

  15. Ok, now pay for the groceries.

  16. I don’t have money on me

  17. Ask your mom to pay for the food

  18. Ok I asked her she is paying now we are checked out

  19. Load the grocery bags into the car

  20. They are heavy

  21. Ask your mom

  22. Ok I asked her she is loading them in

  23. Get in the car and ask your mom to drive you home

  24. Ok I am home now what do I do now?

  25. Unload the ingredients

  26. Done

  27. Now follow the recipe

  28. But the recipe is not going anywhere, how am I supposed to follow it?

  29. Look at the first step and do what it says

  30. But I’m not sure what these words mean

  31. Go get a dictionary

  32. I can’t find the dictionary

  33. Look harder

  34. I think we gave it away

  35. Seriously? Well just do as much as you can

  36. Ok

A few hours later...

  1. I tried following the recipe. It did not work. Now our kitchen is covered in flour, bits of egg, and tomato sauce.

  2. *sssiiiiiggghhh* JUST ORDER A MUFFIN PIZZA


Epilogue

  1. WHAT IS A MUFFIN PIZZA WHERE DO I GET IT FROM HOW DO I PAY FOR IT WHAT ARE THE INGREDIENTS IS THERE ANYTHING I AM ALLERGIC TO I DO NOT SEE MUFFIN PIZZAS ON THE MENU WHAT DO I DO

  2. ARRRRGGGGHHHH

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