All About Technoblade
By Lela S.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TECHNOBLADE!!!
Today is Technoblade’s birthday. June 1, 1999. And I know I’m super, super late, but I need to get this done. Because it’s someone’s special day today, and he deserves this. :)
So for this article, I’m going to do a special little biography about Technoblade (instead of watching his stream, which I know I should be doing but I’m not allowed to).
Technoblade, a Minecraft YouTuber with 7.59 million subscribers, was born on June 1, 1999. As of today, he’s 22 years old. According to the Minecraft community, including me, he is the best PvPer of all time, which is based on the fact that he has beat Dream in a 1v1 duel, 6-4.
He lives in San Fransisco, California. He has three younger sisters and a younger brother named Chris, who he has mentioned in one of his videos, where Chris wanted to 1v1 duel Dream’s younger sister, Drista. As well as that, he has a dog named Floof.
Techno has ADHD, like Dream and our Chief Storyteller Skye at CLN. He is 6’3”.
He has two other YouTube channels, one of which is now shut down: StudioLORE (which was shut down in 2013) and Technothepig. His main one, Technoblade, is currently active and livestreaming RIGHT NOW (watch him here). Previously, he did lots of videos on the server Hypixel, playing Bed Wars, Sky Wars and Sky Block, but now, he mostly does streams and videos on the Dream SMP.
Technoblade joined the Dream SMP on September 22, 2020. This is when his channel started gaining popularity RAPIDLY. I didn’t watch the videos from back then, and I don’t have hours of free time to watch them, so here’s an explanation from dreamteam.fandom.com:
Techno allied with those who promised to help him achieve his goals of anarchy and the eradication of government. He first joined the server at the beginning of the Manberg Rebellion, when Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit were exiled from Manberg and had just begun planning to revolt against Jschlatt's rule as the faction Pogtopia. Techno spent weeks gathering resources to aid Pogtopia in removing Jschlatt’s administration. Techno and Pogtopia had a rift after he caused a mass murder during the Manberg Festival, during which he was forced to execute Tubbo. Some members of Pogtopia distrusted Techno, but he continued to aid their cause, and encouraged Wilbur to pursue his TNT plot. At the end of the Manberg vs Pogtopia War, when Tubbo was declared the new president of L'Manberg, Techno felt betrayed that Pogtopia had instituted another government in L'Manberg. He spawned two withers and fought against the new administration. The withers, alongside Wilbur's TNT, blew a large crater in L'Manberg. However, Tubbo quickly began to rebuild L'Manberg.
After the war, Technoblade retired, hurt by Pogtopia's betrayal and the institution of yet another government. He built a cabin in a distant tundra and swore off violence. However, after the Butcher Army attempted to execute him, Techno longed for revenge. He teamed up with Tommy, after Tommy escaped from his exile. Together, they planned to regain the discs and get revenge. Techno then freed Philza, his longtime friend, from house arrest in L'Manberg. Techno admitted his plans to destroy L'Manberg to Tommy, and Tommy agreed to help him; however, Tommy soon rejoined L'Manberg instead. Techno, along with Dream and Phil, attacked L'Manberg by bombarding it with TNT and withers during the Doomsday War, permanently ending the nation.
Following the Doomsday War, Ranboo joined Techno and Phil, building his own home nearby. Techno and Phil also founded a Syndicate to promote anarchy and diminish tyranny.
If you want to read a more detailed explanation of the lore, go to dreamteam.fandom.com to read it. I only discovered Techno in December 2020, so I can’t give you an explanation as good as that one.
Now, here are some clean Technoblade quotes:
"Technoblade never dies!"
"NOT EVEN CLOSE!"
"We leave. WE LEAVE CHAT!"
"WE WIN THESE!"
"¿Ay caramba, dónde está la biblioteca? (Oh dear, where is the library? [in Spanish])"
"If you wish to defeat me, train for another 500 years." (I have a Technoblade shirt that says that)
"The second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans."
"SUBSCRIBE TO TECHNOBLADE!"
"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD."
"ONE OF US"
"Absolute power corrupts absolutely."
"God, that toddler is getting destroyed."
"We’re leaving the past behind us."
"Officer, I dropped kicked that child in SELF-DEFENSE."
"NOT EVEN CLOSE BABY! TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES."
"Zeus is a god of feminism."
"Sic semper tyrannis"
"When God sends me to hell, I want him to hesitate."
"I didn't kill them, my slaves did."